You’ve done the night time routine, bath, feed, read them a story, cuddled them. Then finally those little eyes close and you think “yes time to have some time to myself”. So you move to put them in their moses basket or next-to-me or whatever sleep setup you’re using. And you lay your knocked out newborn safely on their back and boom those tiny eyes fly open. They stare at you like you’ve killed a man and then the crying resumes. And the cycle restarts, nappy, feed, rock to sleep again and again. Unless you are willing to cosleep this quickly becomes your night- begging for your baby to sleep so you yourself can sleep for a few hours.

The first night home with Ozzy this was us, trying desperately to get him down, in the end we took turns, I’d hold Ozzy sleeping on my chest for 2 hours while my partner slept and then we would swap. If this sounds familiar don’t worry it’s very normal. Babies are biologically wired to want to be near you, especially during sleep which is a ‘vulnerable’ time. The fact if it being ‘normal’ doesn’t help with how knackered you are. We quickly realised surviving on 2 hour shifts aren’t feasable in the long term.

You’re pretty much trying to trick your newborn into thinking it’s still attached to you, or even still in the womb, so here are a few ways to help recreate that feeling.

1-Dark Room

Now this might seem obvious, however the room needs to be darker than you’d expect. We had a bedside lamp which we assumed would keep the room dark enough for Ozzy to sleep however it would make him stir. Invest in a small night light that you can dim or better yet a red light. These keep it bright enough for you to see baby and carry out all tasks, but doesn’t wake them up.

2- Warm the Bed

Your baby is going from your nice warm arms, where they feel safe, to a cold mattress. Often temperature shock makes them wake and throw their arms all startled. Putting a hot water bottle in their bed for 5 mins before you attempt to put them down warms the mattress and reduces the chance of startling themselves awake.

3- White Noise

The gentle, predictable whoosing noises of a white noise machine mimics the sound of the womb. The sound also helps to mask any other sounds in the house, making it less likely for a loud noise wake your newborn.

4- Rocking Motion

Suddenly going from a nice gentle sway against your chest to a still bed can feel really startling to your baby. One way to help this is to continue to rock your baby as you move over to their bed. You can also invest in cribs with built in rocking feature.

5- Feet First

I’m not entirely sure why it works but in practice, laying your baby down first with their feet, then bum, then finally the head can keep them dead asleep.

6-Lay a Gentle Hand on Them.

Once you have placed them down often babies stir slightly and thrash around, a gentle hand on their chest or patting them on the bum will send them back to sleep before they ever fully awaken. Keep a hand on them until they have stopped flailing.

7- Hold Them Longer Than You Think

I know once those eyes have finally shut you can be tempted to pop them down straight away so you yourself can sleep. However this can lead to it being another half an hour before youre climbing into bed. Leave your newborn until they have entered deep sleep- you can look for them going floppy or if you have one of the fancy monitors you can just check the app. Then once they are you can attempt the transfer.

Sometimes despite doing everything perfectly your baby will still wake the minute you pop them down. This can feel incredibly frustrating in the early hours of the morning after being up for ages. However just remember your newborn doesn’t understand that they are seperate from you yet. They use your body to regulate their own, so being away from you overloads their nervous system and wakes them up.

So as annoying as it is enjoy the sleepy newborn cuddles and remember it doesn’t last forever and soon you’ll be missing the tiny baby that only wanted to sleep on you.